The Book of Life and Target

In the Jewish religion we have two big days, Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. Rosh Hashana is the Jewish New Year and the day the Book of Life opens. It is a joyful holiday where we dip apples in honey and wish everyone a happy healthy new year. We spend the day in Temple and also begin to think about the wrongs we have committed to both G-d and others. In the Jewish religion there always seems to be some apology necessary.

The Book of Life is opened for 10 days. During this time you ask for forgiveness of those you have harmed and you pray to G-d for forgiveness. I, on the other hand, try not to do anything wrong during these 10 days. I open my windows and scream to the world, “I have ten days world- I have to get this right so I can be written in the book of life this year.” I don’t really know what happens if I am not written in it but G-d knows it has to be bad. Why else would we take two days off of work, spend hours in Temple standing up, sitting down, etc, etc. On Yom Kippur we fast all day and pray.

We break our fast at sundown. This fast is no laughing matter, you cannot drink water, brush your teeth, eat from sunset the night before. It is not for the faint of heart. Once you have your Bar or Bat Mitzvah, at 13 years of age, you are supposed to participate. Lucky us who must prepare the breaking of fast with bagels, lox, cream cheese, fruit salad, egg salad, and orange juice. My non-Jewish husband cannot believe we call this a meal. This from the man who doesn’t fast!

I work hard these 10 days to do the right thing (I try to always do the right thing but if I am honest, I am not perfect). So one day during the 10 days of the high holidays I went to Target. Target is a topic I often talk of because of my lack of restraint there. I also exhibit OCD qualities when I am there since I have a very clear system of shopping that cannot be interrupted- some aisles must come before others.  I digress……

On this particular day I saw some stacking bowls from Michael Kors that were colorful and cool, therefore I had to have them. I placed them on the bottom of the cart and continued my routine. About 2 hours later (yes, really) I checked out and the alarm went off as I left the building. A security guard saw a sweet young mom (who secretly worries that in these situations she may have a gun in her purse) and told her to just go through.

As always, I lose my car often in these places and try to look casual as I search for my mini-van that looks like every other mini-van in the parking lot. You know the ones I am talking about right,the ones with the dent on the right bumper? I hate to admit it, I have once placed my items in someone else’s mini-van before panicking and removing them quickly before I am caught. On this particular day I found my car and as I was loading the back I noticed the Michael Kor bowls on the bottom of the cart. Oh god! Seriously, do I have to go back in and pay for them?

Before I could think I threw the damn bowls in the car and started driving. I called my friend Sue and told her the situation. I said, “Sue, the book of life is open and I stole Michael Kor bowls. What should I do?” Sue simply said, “You must go back and pay for them of course.” I paused and told her that I had to go and call someone else. I did just that….I called a number of people until I got to the the anti-establishment friend who convinced me that Target has so much money what are a few bowls to them. Perfect!

Long story short- I am still here so I must have been written in the book of life. I, however, thought for months about going back and paying for the bowls but worried about being arrested so I did not revisit Target for many months. I will work harder next Yom Kippur.


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